We will call him LDS

I am on several different dating website. Match.com, Christianmingle.com, yahoo personals and I had only met one person so far off of Match.com and that one didn't work out. So, I was browsing through personal ads on Match.com and came across this really good profile. Or at least so I thought.

His name was Shane, his pictures were cute and his profile made me laugh and smile. So, I thought let me wink at him (online lingo). I winked and he winked back. Then he sent me three different messages, but I wasn't a member so I had to wait to get paid to join. So, I was excited to get home that day and join. Well...... I read his messages and the first one was like..

"I am so excited to see you are LDS also." I was like "oh crap", what did I do. So, I look and notice that I had chosen Christian-other-LDS as my religion. A big oops. One of my dear coworkers is Mormon and there is nothing wrong with it, but I want it known I am baptist.

So, I go on and read all of his messages and he seems really cool still. So, I respond and the first thing I did was clear the air that I am baptist, not LDS.

So, we e-mail back and forth for about a week and then start texting back and forth. He tells me he got a new phone so he can text faster. OMG...

So, after e-mail and texting for a while. I finally say, give me a call.

He calls me on a Sunday. We talk for about an hour about everything. Religion, marriage, interests and etc. He asks if I smoke, drink and etc. I told him I am addicted to sweet tea and he thought that was so awful. I know Linda had said that Mormons don't drink caffeine or watch rated R movies. But, he was practically condemning me for drinking sweet tea. I was like you better watch out. I love my tea. lol After we hung up, I just didn't feel it was a good conversation. I talked to Amanda the next morning and told her about it. He just didn't seem to have a personality. His voice didn't change with laughter or anything. It was just the same ho hum... Amanda told me to ask him to describe his personality. So, I was like that might be a good one.

So, he calls on Monday and the same ho hmmm... Nothing new. I forgot to ask him the question.

Tuesday he calls and I am on the way home, he sounds a little peppy this time. He says "I have some questions for you" and I was like oh I do to. So, I asked him what kind of personality he has and he answers.
"Well I like to rhyme things with fruits and vegetables." I seriously about ran off the freakin road. I mean come on.... So, I was done with my Q & A. He then asks me several questions..
1) Do you watch American Idol? I used to
2) Do you play board games? I haven't in a very long time, but not opposed to it.
3) Did you sleep with your ex-husband? I said what do you mean. He said in the same bed. Well, umm yeah! So, he said when I was married~I liked to lay face to face with her and when she would turn over~I found that to be insensitive. When you are in bed, that is time to bond. WTF... I said when I am asleep, I am asleep. You better not bother me. lol

So, after that I was like come on.... I thought of another question, so I texted him. Do you wear cologne? His answer was yes. I asked what kind? He said usually the generic kind. OMG for real this time. I couldn't believe it. I laughed my butt off.

I got to work the next morning and got this e-mail from him rhyming my name. He called me Jen which I can't stand. Especially those who don't know me. He went on that he gets his generic cologne at Fred's Discount Store, but his mom does get him real cologne for Christmas. Come on dude, tell a fib and say you wear old spice or Axe or something. Don't say, you wear imposter cologne.

So, I laid off for a while after that. We went talked the first time~we kind of set up a date for Saturday. After the sleeping and cologne, I just didn't feel it. So, of course I cancelled.

He called me on Friday night and I was taking my meds for the night. So, I said I am sorry for gulping in your ear, I am swallowing my medicine. He said oh, I am on medicine too. I said really, what for? He said I am on psychotic medicine, have been for 11 years. I am on Medicaid and can't make over $22, 000 a year or I lose all my benefits. He went on to tell me his ex-wife weighed over 400 pounds and his ex-mother in law weighed half a ton. I was like oh damn. I told him my sleeping meds were kicking in. Gotta go.

So, he texted me on Saturday and Sunday and I didn't respond. I just couldn't do it anymore. On Monday, I sent him an e-mail and said sorry, but we just don't mesh. Thank goodness~he didn't call, text or e-mail anymore.

Even though, it didn't work out~I have told lots of my friends and we all have laughed. It was just all wrong from the beginning.

So, no LDS for me.